Sunday, May 01, 2011

I just want to go home!


I drafted my letter already. The only thing missing is the letter head. I don't have it. Don't know who has it. I think I need this. Just want to go home and start new life in Malaysia. I don't wish to do any harm to anyone or mean to hurt anyone here. But, i did. Unintentionally. What to do right? Learn from mistakes. Made me realise, I am not nobody. I will try to move on from this. and all I want is a new beginning. can I have that? At least I can make the people who really think I am important to them happy. With this, I bid this place farewell. I don't care about the hostel money. That's fine. KEEP IT. Wish the money goes to some charity rather than that thing. Bluek. But what to do.This is the end?I guess so. Had fun here. When it was good. it was great. Those are the past. HAve to face the facts. Move on. Forget. and yes, I hope God forgives me for talking agaisnt the bible. I didn't mean that. Was angry. I don't know why angry people say stupid things. I think, when we're angry we should just shut our mouths. WIth that we don't regret saying anything!Anyway, i still believe those words. Because something as beautiful as "that" indeed can be as destructive. I am just unlucky to land on the destructive side of that. I do agree it is kind and ever forgiving. Yes, makes people go blind. Makes you have a heart i guess. But having a heart gives someone the power to destroy you. To make myself content for now is knowing that, I did do my best. My friend mentioned something about being hurt. And because of hurt, you get sad. Indeed. I feel rather....er..what's the word don't know the word..annnoyed?i think dissapointed.....I had been screamed at. Shut the door on my face. Yes, did hit me. Told to my face I was nothing. Had to cry and beg for forgiveness and got ignored. etc.and I was still your friend. I am very sad. I feel, my friend so important to me and I tried so very hard to be a good friend but still said I didn't care. (twice i think). then Maybe it's my fault. I am simply not a good friend. I deleted my fb. What's the point right.. :( I do feel I am all alone now. I still have my family. Though they are miles away. But, I know they always be there for me no matter what. And the quotation you gave?i don't understand why or the relevance in that. I hope I can still be a good friend. But that quotation teaches me, if you really care about that friend of yours. You just let that friend go. indeed. I don't wish to hurt anyone.I am sorry.and goodbye.

3 comments:

becca said...

Hey...how are you? I totally understand how it feels esp when u really wan to go home. Do know that your friends and family are always there for you, even when miles away. Or hasn't been talkin to u long time enough (sorry)!

But take my advice, just wait. Coz this is all temporary and u'll graduate as an awesome dr. =D get new friends, or stick with the girls. They tend to leave you out when u have a bf...

And that loser, forget him! Idiot. I'll kick him next time! Anything, pm me k!! Love, long lost fren.

Annie said...

Hey Ano... I just realize you deactivated your account. What happen? I know you're feeling down.. But, no matter what, dont give up on your studies. You can do it! Like Rebe said, "you will be an awesome doctor!".

I know you still need to face that loser everyday, so do i for my situation. But then, learn to be strong. My friend once told me, a broken heart normally when they heal, they tend to be even stronger than before. If you can get pass through this, in future, you will get pass through even more things! God will know. There is really a lot of mean people in this world. What to do? Move on. It's a way of growing and one day, just one fine day, we will life better and happier than them. *hugs* Be strong ya.

Even tho we're distance, we still care about you. You got us stand by you. You're not alone.

Anonymous said...

Good luck.. All the best..