And a year has flown away since the last post! And here I am again. Things are repeating again. History is repeating. I am the exact definition of Eisntein's definition for insanity: doing things the same way again and again and expecting things to change. Sheer madness. What exactly do I want to change here? Not many I things. But there is one predicament that becoming my shadow for quite sometime already. I dont know how to face it. I am just avoiding to face it. Fearing tempering would make things worse. Yes, I do believe some how we're given a problem because we can face it. Maybe God wants me to face my fears and get over it for once! I am scared. I cant really tell anyone about it. I dont know how to. All i know is, nightmare is back. But that's alright, we're all going back home. And I have a new start. I think this place is cursed. Was my mistake that huge before till I have to carry the burden till now as a punishment? Yet my accomplice has yet to face the same punishment. Yes I made someone hurt very badly before. Before of what I have done, I lack in trust. But what do i trust? I trusted too much and at the end of the day, I am back in square one like now. That person is doing it again! What an I do? Nothing. I just try to be a good person. Patient. Just let that person be then.

I have tried my all. It is very painful. I want to be happy again. Forgetting how it felt to be happy. But I don't know where to start. Do not tell me i havent done my best. I have done my all, draining my soul to fix this. But i cant force things that are not meant to be. I have to just accept. How can i trust you again? You promised not to repeat history and make me sad. But.